Estela graduated from Princeton with a B.A. in sociology and a certificate in gender and sexuality studies. She is currently finishing her Ph.D. in sociology at Columbia University, and lives in Brooklyn, New York.

This interview is part of the Career x Identity series, which provides students a look into alumni career trajectories with a focus on intersections of career and identity.

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

What does your identity mean to you? How do you describe your identity? 

The most common way I describe my identity is in a hyphenated form. I identify as a first-generation college student, second-generation Mexican-American. I'm queer. I'm increasingly using gender queer but I'm still using she/her pronouns, so that's evolving. I grew up working class as well. All of these perspectives impact my everyday choices in different ways. 

How have your identities affected your career path and exploration? 

I shifted from mathematics into sociology partially as a way to understand the power of identity, and my identities have impacted the kinds of things I study. I am a sociologist who “studies up,” meaning I study elites and I do so from the vantage point of someone who did not grow up in affluent communities. 

Now I see my identities as sources of strength and unique perspectives that can add to existing conversations, but honestly, for a very long time I was operating from a deficit mindset. I was often thinking that I needed more in order to make it or to keep up with my peers, especially at Princeton. 

It's only with time and by surrounding myself with people who really see my perspectives as sources of strength, that I've been able to shift away from that. Now, my various marginalized identities are assets that strengthen how I design research projects. 

What advice do you have for students as they reflect on their identities — how might they play a role in their career development journey?

Allow yourself the grace to be fluid in what identities are most important to you at any particular moment in time. As a college senior, I would have thought that my queerness is the single most important thing to me and that it’s imperative for me to be in a space that is unabashedly queer-affirming.

While that's still true, my priorities have shifted over time. I feel like first-generation students and the children of immigrants were always struggling with having the support of our parents, especially having graduated from Princeton. There's enormous pressure to be financially well-off and I decidedly turned away from that as a college senior. I can respect and understand where my peers are coming from in choosing certain higher-paying fields, and that influences why I chose academia – it typically honors a living wage and a certain lifestyle. And while I might not have access to a lot of the things that my peers have, I've chosen to prioritize a work environment where I can be my full self, and that's just the set of decisions that I've made for myself.

How do you deal with peer and societal pressure? What strategies help you be happy with the choices that you've made? 

One of the beautiful things about being queer is that you learn to really own and stand very strongly in your position in the world. Societal disapproval kind of comes with the territory. Rather than always working towards appeasing others, you don't have that option as an openly and visibly queer person. 

Once you realize that you’ll never be able to please everyone, then you learn to just kind of sit in your strengths and say, okay, what are the choices and decisions I'm going to make for myself? That's the only thing you can afford to do – the other option is to cave into societal pressure and try and meet constantly shifting targets, which is an impossible and infuriating task.

How do you go about figuring out what kind of organization is a good fit for you? What are some questions a student might ask that would give them a realistic idea of an organization's DE&I practices?

I have learned to trust my gut and follow the phrase “watch what we do, not what we say.” There are so many diversity statements [from companies] but at the end of the day, you have to see who's on the ground, who's in those positions, who holds power in the different spaces that you'll be occupying, and then decide what you're willing to tolerate and what is non-negotiable for you.

Can you recall a time when you felt like your voice and perspective were understood or acknowledged?

I think back fondly on the academic support that I received at Princeton. My research mentors appreciated how my perspective gave me the ability to ask new questions about the world and they articulated as much. They could have chosen to be skeptical, but time and time again, the mentors who were overseeing my research were just really curious. I think that’s one of the reasons I chose academia.

Something as simple as being genuinely curious, without judgment, about what students have to offer and how their life identities contribute to the classroom or a work setting can have such a deep impact. 

What is some advice that you have for students in dealing with micro and macro-aggression; how they can overcome those challenges; and how they make sure they're safe, recognized, and respected? 

I recognize that different types of advice resonate for people. My advice is that you have to find the people who can honor and understand the commitments and values that you hold, and decide what you are willing to tolerate. That is your personal barometer. 

One personal decision I’ve made is to be open with mentors about any form of micro and macro aggressions that I face, so that they can help me navigate that professionally. They have only ever been supportive in response, and have helped protect me when necessary. You also have to find more than one person to support you. I have a strong network of people who can help hold space during times of crisis. All students, regardless of identity positions, would benefit from cultivating earnest relationships with mentors and friends.